Snow White (Remake)

                Snow White’s complexion would differ from your idea when you first heard her name: she had dark skin, black hair, and an overload of dandruff.

                She stared through her window in her room, trying to ignore the infuriating sounds of the credit cards in Monopoly game which her siblings were amusing themselves with.

                “WILL YOU KEEP QUIET??!!!!”She burst out.

                Snow stormed out of the room, went down the escalator, spat on the magic mirror, and left the house. She had ENOUGH of this! She was running away.

                You see, people do quite brainless acts when they are ill-tempered, and Snow was no different.

                She stormed off into the forest and when she found herself lost in it, she met seven dwarves, each of them having a bright red nose that resembled a ripe tomato.

                At those times, ugliness was very IN and actresses were usually deformed. It was this idea of IN that charmed the dwarves enough to make them persuade her to go to their home.

                And, so, everyday, they did what Snow wanted, and never got tired of it.

                One day, snow demanded for mutton biryani. As there was no goat roaming in the forest, they politely refused. Snow pretended to forgive them, but, in her treacherous mind, plans were hatching.

                So they have the cheek to refuse, eh? I’ll show them. She thought.

                That night, after the group had eaten dosa with chutney, Snow slid out her revolver and, with seven shots, killed the seven dwarves.

                She leapt outside into the cold night and threw a flash grenade at the house. It burst into flames, and she twirled around with glee. She may have started warbling her favorite song had she not seen something that sapped away all her triumph and joy.

                She could read the badge clearly: Burlington Quality Officers.

                Snow was sentenced to a life imprisonment or imprisonment for 1,096,231 years. Whichever came later. On the chargesheet, the reasons given for such a harsh punishment were given as:

1)      Voluntary manslaughter.

2)      Use of fire arms without a license.

3)      Use of explosives without a license.

And they say her stepmother was evil?!

This is Snow White? Yeah, right!