Funny Jokes

This is NOT to be taken seriously.

Boss: Where were you born?
Guy: India ..
Boss: which part?
Guy: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

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2 Guys were fixing a bomb in a car.
Guy 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Guy 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

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Guy: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Guy: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

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Guy joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Guy: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Guy: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

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Guy: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Guy: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

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149 Rajnikanth Jokes

Here are 149 Rajnikanth jokes. *NOTE: This should be only taken as jokes and not seriously.
1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5. Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

Kidnap (cont.)

Here is the second and much shorter chapter:

We are- or rather were- on the planet Wyrnia, The land of the Nuuks. I was a Nuuk. The advanced form of humans. We were smart, strong, and athletic. The only exception was me.

I was a waste person, except for my fabulous inventions. Humans already ruined the planet Earth and moved through quickly destroyed two others. They were now living on Sontara, the planet in the Callibian planet system. It was the fifth planet, the Callibian star radiating too much light and heat to be any closer. Even that planet was slowly depleting.

Wyrnia, however, was in perfect shape. None of our activities in the day time caused any pollution to the beautiful marble floating and revolving in space.

At first, Wyrnia would seem like Earth, with thick, white clouds drifting over vast, blue seas and rich, green land. But as you got closer, you would see that it was tilted sideways, since it was an oblate spheroid, which meant it wasn’t exactly a sphere, but its North and South poles were a bit flat. Except in this case, it was flat on the East and West sides.

Also, the continents were not nearly as round as Earth’s, rather a jagged landscape jutting out into the sea at different angles. The sea water was more of a lighter blue, like the water in a shallow part of the Mediterranean Sea in Earth, rather than the colours of the oceans on Earth, which were a deeper and darker blue.  

 It continually shocks me how a human can go through so much devastation to planets so calmly. Years before the humans left Earth with the help of their inter-stellar travelling technology, they had figured out that the Earth was to run out of valuable natural resources soon, but, stubborn as they were, they remained there until the Earth had nothing more to offer and please the madmen. It was as if there was a barbaric nature bubbling inside them that compelled them to destroy every fabulous celestial being they inhabited.

Noctaria

Noctaria was in the worst position it was ever in since Volcano Klihuea erupted to form it.

The six kingdoms had chosen sides, four of them choosing Skulldome Kingdom’s side, preferring to perform the Black Magic rather than sticking to the limited White Magic that Strongheart and Stealth Kingdoms used.  

The White Magic was powerful good magic used to eradicate all traces of evil. However, Black Magic was the all powerful magic that could destroy a city block within a few minutes, just by focusing all the magic at a focal point and then exploding the magic underground, wrecking the whole city block and others nearby it. White Magic could be used to make Light Arrows that were beyond the knowledge of the helpless humans, who were unaware of the mighty war and continent that were sitting before their very eyes, waiting to be discovered.

For years, it had been rumored that the most evil wizards of all times had been able to manipulate the Black Magic to create a destroyer that would erase all of the weak Good Lords from the face of the earth.

We now come to the testing of the conquering weapon.

“Now, now, put it facing the east-no that’s the west dimwit- come on, come- oh yes, that’s it. Now, you, soldier press the fire button- no, that’s the power button. Turn it on again-yes that’s it- now press it.”

The cannon began to vibrate with an irritating noise that soon caught the general and the soldiers on their nerve, so they began to close their ears and sing lullabies to themselves when King Philip the Third came up and asked what was going on. Before they could answer, the cannon shot a large purple ray that flew through the air and hit the peak of a mountain far away.

The general began celebrating, when a soldier came up and delivered some bad news.

“Sir, that’s where our officers were camping for the night.”

His face paled, and his despair was interrupted by the king’s question repeated.

“Yes, uh, what’s your name again???” the king asked.

“Your majesty, I am Commander Richard Phelp, general of the Skulldome kingdom army.”

The king turned to the servant who followed him everywhere.

“You, why did he call me your majesty?”

The servant politely replied, “You are the king of Skulldome Kingdom, sir.”

“King? Well that’s good to know. I’ve always dreamt of being a king. And one more question. What is Skulldome Kingdom?”

“It is the largest kingdom in the whole of Noctaria, sir.”

They walked away again, and the king’s voice could be faintly heard, “And what is Noctaria?”

The general shook his head in sadness. He had always known that a king who could not even remember his own mother would be quite a useless king.

“All right boys, back to the kingdom.”

Meanwhile, the King was aided by his servant to his bedroom.

“Why, such a large bedroom? Do I actually sleep in here?”

The servant, exasperated by the nonstop questions, rather rudely replied , ‘Yessir, you sleep in here. Now I would be obliged if you turned off your light and went to sleep.” With that, he left.

“But how do you turn off the light?”

Now, the Skulldome kingdom might have a forgetful king, but the Strongheart Kingdom had a wise, noble, and strong ruler who always performed the right decisions. Presently, he was deciding the fate of a traitor who tried to sell the plans of the kingdom to the Skulldome King, who, with a puzzled face, had asked him what Strongheart Kingdom was. Fortunately for Strongheart, a brilliant young spy from the Stealth Kingdom apologized to the Skulldome King the Third, saying that the traitor was his younger brother had a mind problem and made up kingdoms. He brought the man back to Strongheart at sword tip, and then turned him in to the court.

“He will be drawn on a hurdle to be half hanged, and then he’ll be taken down and sliced before his own face, and then his inside will be taken out and burnt while he looks on, and then his head will be chopped off, and then he’ll be cut into quarters. That’s the sentence.” The king paused for a moment. “Ahhh,” he said at last, “I’ve always wanted to say that since I read A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.” He looked around at the puzzled crowd, who, obviously, had not been to a library yet.

Wanna buy a Dog?

Looking for a dog? Think again. It is well known that a pet is a “great friend of man”, but what most people miss out on is that dogs pose major problems. People are blind to this part. Learn about both sides of the coin…

                When people hear “problems of a dog”, they usually think that dogs excrete in public, and the owners have to clean it. However, there is a whole world of problems out there, some discovered and some waiting to be discovered. Owners of dogs speak lovingly about their pet, but also confess that they do bring difficulties along with them. Here are some they have admitted:

                Some owners buy dogs, only to quickly return them to animal shelters because they realize that they are allergic to dander, like our dandruff. Many people are affected by the dander that pets spread. Also, larger breeds of dogs shed their hair a lot, creating messes on the ground that cannot be cleaned up by vacuum cleaners as the hair would clog the vacuum cleaner. Most people are irritated by these messes. A solution to this problem would be to choose a smaller breed that does not shed as much.

                If you travel a lot, it would be better to consider not buying a dog, as many hotels do not permit dogs, and even if they do allow a well behaved dog, it is only with extra expense. Also, pets can travel in airplanes, but only with costly Pet Passports, and even if they do, they have to travel in a carriage. Some breeds like the Golden Retriever love human company and easily get depressed if their owner leaves and they do not have enough company.

                When you buy a dog, please do realize that you not only have to pay your medical expenses, but also his/her medical expenses. After you buy a dog, you immediately have to get anti-rabies injections, etc. that can be very costly and lighten up your wallet. You even have to by appliances like shampoo to keep ticks and fleas off your beloved animal, and you even have to buy certain soaps, while your dog looks innocently at you.

                You may come to know that new, adult dogs bought from the shelter tend to howl at a full moon, their instincts inherited from their wolf ancestors. If your dog is a guard dog, it may bark at anyone who is strolling by for a nightly walk and jolt you out of your sleep.

                If you live in a small, 1 BHK flat and want to buy a Great Dane (one of the largest dogs), please reconsider your decision. Every dog needs a certain amount of room, and the bigger the dog, the larger the room. Though a Chihuahua is very small, it needs a certain amount of space. Even if you live in a villa or a bungalow, make sure you have enough time everyday to walk the dog and give it your personal company. If you don’t, try to hire someone to do it for you.

                Most people get closely bonded with their dogs and are terribly devastated and almost feel like dying themselves. This leads many people to depression.

Should Mothers Work?

When, for the umpteenth time, you are being scolded by your mom, don’t you wonder if it would be more pleasurable for her to be engrossed in some job so that she is occupied all day and can’t yell at you? Don’t be so heartless-it can teach your mother invaluable things that may aid her in life, but it will cause problems, and you know it. Imagine a life of your mother working full time on her job, and the first feeling you get is…

                Freedom. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, and your parents would never know. Whether you almost fail in your English Exam, or play video games non-stop and your parents would be under the illusion that you are an innocent young child who does everything on time and passes with flying colors. Don’t get too happy though. Even if you are awarded a gold medal or are congratulated in front of the whole class, your parents still wouldn’t know because you probably are in deep slumber when they arrive when the moon is shining with all its might and stars that the sky is peppered with are twinkling with vain efforts to shine brighter than the moon.

                Your mom can jump out of the mousetrap, break open the barriers, leap out of the window into the endless open that allows her to take opportunities that were restricted to her when she didn’t have a job. They can stroll around or do some stress-busting exercises at the local gym. If they are interested in a certain subject, they should have enough freedom and liberty to undertake training for the job and acquire it with pride glowing inside of them.

                What would really help your mother, however, is to have the honor of holding the title “financially independent.” Most people have no clue about what “financially independent” means, even after they rack their brain, to see if the meaning lurked in any single neuron in their mind. I admit, I too had no clue about what it meant before I visited Wikipedia. It is a word “generally used to describe the state of having sufficient personal wealth to live indefinitely without having to work actively for basic necessities.” In simple words, any individual whose income is stable and is greater than what expenses are paid by them monthly.

                There have been many disputes about the next point, if it’s false rather than true, whether if it is reasonable or not. The point is: Children learn to be responsible. It depends on the child’s personality. If it is a child who pays extra attention to studies and academics, they will learn responsibility. However, if it is a child who is searching every dark corner for a chance to be home alone and enjoy, the outcome would be different. They would spring at the chance, and when their unknowing parents vanished from sight, the party begins.

Back to School

I climb the bus, I sit in my seat,

I talk to my friends, I eat my treat,

I look at the bus, a deep dark yellow,

When it finally stops, a nice large bellow,

I look outside and start to groan,

There were kids who were fighting, and others who moan,

I have to admit, it was a little scary,

To see my school, and teachers who are angry.

My Jail

I climb the bus, I ride its back,

Talk with my friend, sit on a tack,

Glance at the bus, as ugly as a bone,

When it finally halts with a nice large groan,

At my prison, which has a name;

St. Bernard’s School: To excel is our aim!

Do Something!

Look up there,

Beings are dying,

Treeless days,

Viruses are flying,

No more pleasure,

No more quiet,

Against the Earth,

We’re in a riot.

Oil is spilling,

Trees are dropping,

Trash is burning,

We’re just sleeping,

Through all this,

Earth is crying,

We sit at home,

 Simply sighing!

Obviously, there,

Is simply no cost,

For being humane,

And recovering what’s lost,

Save the world,

Plants some trees,

Refuse polluters,

Save the seas.

Listen to me,

It’ll help,

Tell your friends,

And don’t just yelp,

Talk to people,

Spread the word,

Before you know it,

You’ll save the world!!!

Butterflies

At first, just one,

Happened to flutter by,

Blocking the sun,

In the middle of the sky.

It was startling blue,

Against the skyline,

Like a little bit of dew,

On the needle of a pine.

Then, just as unexpected,

Another came anew,

This one more a red,

Right out the door it flew.

Oh! But after it came a FWOOM,

A huge swarm came flying through,

Colouring the room,

As they were on a cue.

One by one they flew,

Right out the window,

A lovely breeze blew,

The moon began to glow.

And off they went,

Towards the buildings nearby,

As if they were sent,

Right into the sky.

As for me,

Well, I,

I could only watch and see,

As the bugs said good-bye.

The Dying Planet

I am working on a new story, one that illuminates the fact that we are continually polluting the environment. A small part is given below:

Prologue

  In the raging seas, the erupting volcanoes, the windy blizzards, lived three Element Birds. The last of their race, they each sent out a longing caw to enter a brief reminder of their history...
    There once was a time when enormous groups of these magical beasts lived at three areas: The seas, volcanoes, and the ever-growing mountains. The Sea birds were called Argmieus (the sea's ruler), volcano birds Margitaus (fire's commander), and the mountain birds called Luxmeatrus (Controller of ice). The birds brought jubilee and peace to wherever they went and glowed at all moments.  Breaking the peace and detest for war, abnormal beings erupted from wherever the peaceful and majestic beings had created their habitat. Covered with skin of one of the most beautiful animals called "deer", the two legged warring animals looked angry with sweat beads on their face. Uncovering their glinting pieces, whose tip was shaped like a cone, they hurled them at the glowing majesties and murdered all but one of each Argmieus, Margitaus, and Luxmeatrus.
    Yet again, the war-lover beings came back stealthily, and hit all three majesties under their left shoulder rib, where the main artery pumped all the blood. Feeling weaker and weaker by the second, the glowing beasts laid each a lustrous invisible egg which would only be visible twice every 1000 years ( the second time one month after the first), never guessing that 3000 years later, the eggs would be picked up by the descendants of their assassins themselves when the world would be almost touching the point of its destruction
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The FIght for Survival

In this story, an extraterrestrial force threatens to destroy earth. we look through the eyes of a police officer as he tries to suppress this force......

Prologue

      With feet more silent than a light breeze ruffling a few blades of grass, the pale person landed on the ceiling of Roy Enterprises, after falling 30 feet from a sleek, black helicopter. As silent as a mouse, he crept to the center of the eight floor building.

                With his heat infrared vision, he noticed the invisible security systems, and the man closed his eyes to concentrate. The light in front of the devices shimmered for one second, and it stopped. He walked past them as if they were toys. No alarm sounded.

                Feet were heard coming up the stairs. The pale man froze in place. A tall man in a business and a red tie came up, seemingly wanting to have a stretch after working for half a dozen hours.

                “Hey!” the man yelled, and those were his last words because a bullet from the pale human hit his head with great force. Turning away from the bloody murder, he planted some thing on the ground, and ran to his helicopter. He leapt with inhuman strength, and a ladder fell down from the aircraft. Climbing up, he got into the copter and it flew away with gusto. 

                Roy Enterprises had been exploded. A bomb had been implanted at the top. It had been a minor bomb, but had enough power to bring down the top floor. After that, each floor crashed into each other.

                This incident shocked people all around San Jose, especially the few employees left of the famous company. They claimed that nothing was heard until the eighth floor toppled down. Also, the security machines had not detected anything although they had caught hundreds of criminals in the last decade.

               

                A policeman looked gravely at the newspaper and the picture of the company’s wreckage. If there was anything in his life he, Max Albertson, would do, it was to capture the terrorist responsible for destroying San Jose’s major pride, what it was known internationally for.

                Unfortunately, Max had underestimated him.

Death of the Innocents

This is a story on war.......

It was my last chance. I stared at my comrade’s handsome face, his sound chest, strong muscles, and his powerful body. The only stain that marred this portrait was a tiny hole. One would usually deem it as insignificant, had they not noticed the reddish stain next to it. Looking at him, I forced myself to absorb the fact that he was dead, that I would never see him joking again, never see him alive.  I could only watch like a helpless spectator as the doctors placed his body in a bag and shoved it in the truck. All too easily, tears sprung to my eyes as memories flooded my mind….

We had just graduated from college. My mind was strongly fixed on my ambition of evolving into one of the greatest scientists of all times, almost equivalent to that of Albert Einstein. My walk home, however, along with my friend contained a few moments that changed my life. After glancing at the many posters that Army recruiters had put up,  he realized that he could not grow up to become just an everyday worker at offices; he wanted the exhilaration of situations of life and death to be embedded in the carefully and elaborately woven tapestry of his life. The conversation is as follows.

“Say, Ben,” I started abruptly, “What do you think you’re gonna be?” After reading all about Chemistry, I had set my mind on bringing myself to reveal so much in Chemistry that I would regenerate the interest that had long since dissipated in this world. I was sure that there could not be any ambition in existence that could possibly be greater than mine.

“Why, James ain’t it obvious? I told you that I wanna become one of those soldiers in the Iraqi war. Everyone’s heard of the great George Washington ‘cause he won a war. And they’re gonna know me too ‘cause I’m gonna win a war too. Imagine the fame….” His eyes twinkled, his expression softer, as his mind wandering into his made-up future where he would be proclaimed as a savior of his country. The fame slightly found a comfortable spot in my head, compelling me to join the army too. But I couldn’t give up the argument without a fight.

“Well, you’ve gotta realize that everyone knows Einstein too. And besides, you can die any second in a war! What would happen to your family, your children if you have any? Too much of a risk if you ask me!” I argued. I felt quite self-satisfied, proving my point in the argument. I still didn’t think his dream was proper; after all, I didn’t want to lose my best friend.

“Well James. Just answer this simple question. How can you think that you are patriotic if you sit in an office or a laboratory, not doing anything to help the country? Give up your silly ambition, James, and join the Army with me. You mentioned life and death situations. What’s better to light up a life with excitement than the horror of death? Imagine the fun, the integrity, the fight for the U.S., and against the Taliban and terrorists who threaten to trample upon the civilians of the world and use them as their slaves. It will be our job to obliterate these inhumane beings from the face of the Earth, and we shall do it with pride. Think ‘bout it James, an’ let me know when you realize the true dream that you should follow. ” He walked past my house and rang the doorbell to his, while I feverishly hoped he didn’t realize that he had toppled the school’s best debater, even in my favourite topic. Of course, I had felt a spurt of anger because of the “silly ambition” part, but his sentence entirely brought the subject into a new light.

A Package

Whats inside? Read on to find out......

Nine in the morning. The warm sunlight fights its way through the billowing curtains, activating your internal alarm clock. Your brain urges you to awake, and you do so reluctantly. Tightening your night robe, you slip on your favorite flip-flops to collect the mail. When you open the door, a cool breeze wafts through the silent neighbourhood, alerting your senses and energizing your mind. You stoop down to pick up the newspaper, whose headline reads: Telecom Scam: How Raja Did It. Sighing, you wonder why the media doesn’t just move on rather than highlighting the same topic for three days straight.  After you open your mailbox, you pull out a letter from your “friendly” bank that is demanding repayment of the debts. It cheerfully reminds you that if you don’t pay them soon, you’ll land up in Debtor’s Jail, and will starve there till the end of your days. But there is also something behind this letter; a package.

                Confused, you wonder when you had sent for this package. Maybe it is because of that super old horror movie you watched last night that you forgot. Pulling it out, you try to find what product it encloses. However, you find nothing written on it, save for the company’s name: Amagore.com. For some strange reason, this name strikes a chord in your heart that nothing has ever touched before: pure terror.

                It comes as a shock as you realize that it is the same company featured in the horror movie; the one that was run by maniacal people who wanted to destroy the world. Something urges you to open it, to rip open the package and to release your tension. The other part warns you not to, for right next to the box there is a tag: DO NOT OPEN.

A Robber

Its a stormy day. What happens?

                  Ominous clouds shrouded the skies, discharging a flurry of icy rainwater from its gaping mouth. Beneath this heavenly rage I stood; a puny mortal in the face of the wrath of the gods. As I gazed, the huge funnel of debris-a tornado-ripped its way through the storm-ravaged earth, tearing apart structures worth billions of Euros.  Cattle residing in shabby shelters were conceded to the fury of this spinning horror by cruel and unjust owners. I could only watch forlornly at a storm chaser’s minivan fighting its way through the wind towards this monster, knowing what fate would befell them had they one blunder in their carefully laid out plans, knowing that I had betrayed the group; by fearing for my life. With a prolonged shiver, I made my way to the relatively safe society that I resided in.

                The stomping of my rain boots seemed miniscule in noise compared to the battle that was undertaking outside. My building was well out of the reach of the tornado, yet my heart experienced a flutter of uncertainty deep within. The fact that tornadoes could divert their path rapidly, destroying residential buildings without hesitation was well known. A tornado was blind to the death and destruction it caused, relentlessly tearing apart mansions constructed with years of effort and money as it would for an unoccupied slum. A tinted window had shattered, spraying the building’s marble staircase with fragments of dagger-like glass shards. The elevator had been powered off since the society head expected no one to abandon their residence at such a time of mortal peril. With a great sigh, I carefully picked my path around the aggregate of diminutive glinting fragments, painstakingly assuring myself that I would not accidentally lay a foot on any of them. Scaling the staircase was tedious for me; one, you might say, who had been horribly spoilt by the luxuries technology has contrived.

                At last, I rested both of my weary, high-heeled feet upon the somehow gratifying wood of the thirteenth floor; the floor in which I possess a penthouse. As I struggled to drag myself to my house, 1301, my heart stopped for a second. I whipped around, mind busy in circumspection for any signs of danger. No one stood behind me, nor could I see anyone who lay in concealment. I cocked one ear, listening intently. There. It came again, indisputably from my house. As I took a step nearer, I was greeted with a click and the radiance from the light of my living room shone through a crack near the bottom of the door. Something quite unwanted was inside.

Accident Prone

Funny or not? Post a comment and tell me......

I sat, blankly sipping a cup of coffee that I detested so strongly. Glancing expertly up, I stealthily made my way to the kitchen. My wife was still busy at the terrace, tending and talking to the plants. With a mischievous smile somewhat like that of a child who has laid a whoopee cushion on a seat, I poured the coffee into the sink and washed it down. I loudly kept the cup down, hoping my wife would hear it.

“Martha, dear, I’ve finished my cup of coffee!” I called up. Down came the answer with which I was not at all pleased.

“I won’t believe a single word of it till I see the cup.”

I proudly held my cup up for inspection. After peering at it for a while, she said:

“Well, Robert. You’ve finished your first cup of coffee.” She said so warmly that it made me feel guilty. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it. And-”she halted for a second, glancing out of a window, “I reckon it’s time for your walk. You did say that you wanted to walk after sunset, didn’t you?”

I nodded quickly, pulled on my overcoat and hurried out the door. Everything was dark and blurry.

“Durned sun,” I said grumpily, “Why can’t you stay up a bit longer?” I would have to talk to Titan Eye+ about this. Their glasses didn’t work in the dark….well, they hadn’t even informed me about that.

“Honey!” Martha called. “You forgot your glasses again.”

Ah, yes, that must be it. I stumbled towards the house, reached for my spectacles, and put them on. Everything was a lot clearer, yet the glasses felt strange upon my nose. The shape seemed different too.

“Oh dear. Robert. You’ve worn the glasses upside down now. Must I tell you everything?” she said, quite indignantly.

Without an answer, I stepped forward, entering the relatively populated colony next to us. I greeted the watchmen (who smirked), and stepped in as dramatically as a rock would have. Nobody turned around and gasped in astonishment. Ah well, I thought. I guess that’s what you get for being a commoner. With a great sigh, I took a step forward, slipped and fell on my face.

The Golden Bee

My heart began to race as I stepped up in front of the microphone. I was oblivious to any disturbances that sung out in the crowded hall. To me, it was eerily quiet.
    "V-A-C-U-U-M." As each letter was carefully enunciated in order to avoid confusion, I half winced out of sheer anticipation. My ears were ready to hear the horrendous ring of the silver bell on the table. It had conquered many a souls, and I would neither be the first nor the last person from whom it would deprive of hope and happiness for one dreadful day.
    Yet it did not ring.
    I could literally see the smile on the teacher's face breaking out, the hands of each parent watching move closer to each other, the thumbs of my fellow students rising up to give a sign of approval.
    Then I thought, for a mere second, that maybe I had won.
    I quickly brushed away the thought. How could it be possible? It seemed like yesterday when my mother had been scolding me for not spelling the most simple of words properly.  No, the thought was nothing but a hope that would flutter away just a second from now, when the bell would perform its duty and suck away my enthusiasm.
    I closed my eyes, and waited.

Ghastly, indeed!

Here is a sort-of horror story i wrote:

The lightning energized the air around it, generating a deafening boom as the plasma struck the ground. It was not the only one. A group of lightning bolts followed, the sound creating an impression as if a highly disorganized drum band of giants were entertaining gods above the floating clouds.

                The thunder was what jolted criminologist Kathleen Jones from her uneasy slumber. Peering outside the musty window, it seemed to her that Zeus had claimed war against Gaia, striking her with lightning bolts and anything else he could get at hand. The sensible part of her brain remembered the fact the Hurricane Arlene was fighting its way to Texas. Pulling the blankets tightly around herself, she tried to ignore the din for the simple, yet necessary, replenishment of sleep. The chilled air kept her from drifting off to that faraway dreamland, so she forced herself up to switch on the comforting light and start reading her novel. Instead, she found herself gazing at a blue light emanating through a small crack between her door and the wall. Something compelled her to edge towards this mysterious radiance, and to open her door just a little crack; but just a little crack was all that was needed for her to be caught under its spell.

                Alas! How she swayed, how her feet refused to obey her, how she toppled to the ground with a thud! For just a few meters away, in her very own hallway, floated a blue translucent being of some sort with a veil across its face. Its ragged clothes suggested a commoner; one of no importance, one whose death would never make the news. But wait till it reveals its face! With a yank it pulls off the veil that concealed it, revealing the grinning skull of a woman, with a few long strands of hair protruding from the back. Its eyes, blood red, turned toward the gasping, helpless Kathleen. But its intention was not to harm; but to warn:

A Lion's Diary

What happens when you read the diary of a lion trapped in a zoo? Well, just read on...

                                        

11-20-09

            I was trapped behind the bars in a cage. It was small even compared to all the other cages. Even the penguins had a large emporium with ice, and water. I, the king of the jungle, had the smallest cage of them all. I looked enviously at the Siberian Tiger, just adjacent to me. It had a large glass room all to itself. The room was at least ten times the size of my cage. Added to that, no one was around it. They were all around me.

            A few more people added to the crowd around me. Why couldn’t they go to the penguins, which were now waddling around in their lopsided manner? Or to the Tiger, who was sun bathing? Why me? The mix of human sweat, popcorn, and coffee made a nauseating smell.

            People started poking me, especially the naughty little ones. To show my annoyance, I let out the loudest roar I could. The crowd backed away for a moment, then, seeming to remember I was helpless, gathered around me, louder than ever. What’s worse, even more people came. Didn’t they realize lions also needed their peace? They’re as selfish as a miser!

            I moved to the quietest corner of my cage, but the room of the cage wasn’t much, so it wasn’t much use anyway. I looked at the tiger again. It seemed to be grinning at me. Today was the 20^th of November. My son’s death anniversary. Consequently, it was also my “capturing anniversary”. They happened on the same day.

            I still remember it vividly.

Investigator Lennington

This is a story I made just to understand some new words I had learned, so it might not be good. The new words are underlined.
 

                Investigator Lennington stepped out of his black and yellow taxi in front of the Prime Minister’s building and gave the expenses to the chauffeur. He did have a Rolls-Royce; but he used taxis to get around so it wouldn’t arouse suspicion from the public. The Prime Minister was patiently standing in front of the building, along with his two heavily armed, bulky bodyguards. He seemed to be radiant with joy amongst all the bored and dull faces around him.

                “Good day to you, Investigator Lennington,” The Prime Minister said.

                “Same to you, Prime Minister.”

                “Oh, please, call me Richard.”

                Richard had told Lennington this many times, but Lennington couldn’t get used to calling someone so important and internationally famous by their first name. It seemed rude.

                “Come, let us enter the building,” Richard said.

                Lennington followed Richard into the building, the Prime Minister’s bodyguards behind him, ready to stop him if he took a sudden, violent action.

                Richard looked and felt genial, although the news he was about to explain to Lennington was not good at all. He stopped quite a few meters from his desk.

                “The good news is we have caught the asinine who had been stealing plastic bags. At first, we were all perplexed at why a person would steal something quite useless. Then, we found out the price he had been selling them at. 100 pounds per bag. It was quite extraordinary that he managed to sell 32 of them before he was captured. After he was caught, he started blathering about his poor family and how they were in poverty, and all that rubbish. He even tried to act repentant, as if that would let him out of jail. The whole incident still seems rather corny to me.

                “The bad news is, we’ve got a new vandal. This one has been stealing diamonds from all over London. We’ve got to stop him, or her, before any real damage is done. I speculate that it was Louis the democratic bureaucrat, as he has been seen in all of the incidents. You must keep an eye on him, although shortly after the accusation, he turned in his resignation form. A stranger has conveyed a letter to me. I will show  you the letter:

Prime minister,

          I have the diamonds. If you do not pay one million pounds, then all of these diamonds will be sold, including your precious one. I want the check, or else by this afternoon, I will bring you away from your bodyguards, and slowly force you to give the payment, while saying “is my check written, and have you it?” ha ha ha ha!

                                                          Secret man

“It has obviously been written in stencil to conceal the handwriting. What thoughts have you on this?”

At this sentence the investigator’s eyes flashed. “The black ink is running out in the pen.”

What, Richard thought, he is supposed to be the best detective and here he is talking about ink!

“May I have your signature, Pri-Richard?”

“May I ask why?”

“To access the library that is only available to people who have your signature.”

“All right.”

                He grabbed a slip of paper, pulled out his pen, and signed on it.

                “Thank you.”

                Lennington climbed up the stairs and entered the library. He searched the rows and columns for anything that could list the criminals in London. He had just found a book when the siren rang.

                Dashing down the stairs, he saw Richard yelling, “There he is!” pointing at a man wearing a blazer. The man ran away at top speed, and Lennington and Richards’ bodyguards chased after him. Lennington suddenly stopped, turned around, and traced his way back as fast as he could. Richard was standing, and quickly informed Lennington that his diamond was gone. All had gone as the note, except for the ending, which was impossible because of the bodyguards.

                Lennington leapt onto Richard catching him by surprise. He gagged the Prime Minister with a cloth hidden under his sleeve.

                “Empty your pockets.”

                Richard tried calling his bodyguards back, but the gag made his voice muffled and useless.

                “I said empty your pockets!”

                Richard did so, and his diamond came rolling out. Lennington searched the desk, drawers, and everything in Richard’s desk, and found around a hundred diamonds. At this time, the bodyguards appeared, along with the fake stealer. They look at Richard on the ground, then Lennington.

                “Your great Prime Minister was the real stealer.”

                One of the body guards said, “What you say is inconceivable. It’s incredulous.”

                “It is true. Check inside his desk.”

                Richard managed to spit out the gag and, subdued, said, “ I admit. It is true. I saw my cousin’s collection of diamonds, and wanted something far more than them.”

                “As usual, childish reasons. I was hoping you at least would have a better reason.”

                The man in the blazer looked up. It was Louis.

                “I was searching his desk to see if I could get any proof he was behind it. Then the alarm rang. I had no choice but to run away. Please tell me, what let you onto him?” he said.

                Richard began,” It was not by fluke. After I read the letter, he said the same phrase “HAVE YOU”, that was written in the last line of the letter. I also noticed in his signature he had failing black ink like in the letter. Also, if he hadn’t been so impatient as he knew you would come and cause a distraction for him, he would have remembered that I didn’t need a signature. Only my ID card.”

                “He used you to deter the security guards so he could act as if his diamond had gone missing.”

                “Also, he was smiling throughout the whole incident, as if something good was to happen to him.”

                “I even watched him from above. He walked to the cameras, saw you coming, and move near his desk. I also noticed he had stencils on his desk.” He glanced at the desk. The stencils were still on top.

                The police arrived, and arrested Richard. “Thank you for your help,” they said.

                “My privilege.”

                Richard was sent to jail, and his jail mate was someone who was said to have sold plastic bags for 100 pounds, and kept blathering about his family in poverty.

The Kidnap

Currently I'm working on a very ambitious series called "The Kidnap Series." It will be of about seven book, each about an alien-like race. The following is the first chapter of a rough draft of the first book:

Chapter One: What Started it All

I was an inventor.

Quite a fabulous one.

Not expected if you see my grades.

Or my luck.

It was a bad day. (Every day was bad for me, but even that day was out-of-the-ordinary-bad type of day.)

For Starters, I failed in my exam, got hit by a water balloon (Ouch, that HURT), and fell into the swimming pool.

For Enders, I broke my mom’s expensive china vase, blew up the gas cylinder, and pretty much wrecked the whole house.

Of course, all of these happened by accident, but who cared except for me?

By the way, don’t ask me how it happened.

“THAT COST $10000000! HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR THAT??????”

My mom’s voice was shaking with outrage and fury. Her voice was booming throughout the whole house, both because she was used to shouting at her colleagues and because of a microchip I invented that magnified her voice around a hundred times. I was wearing earmuffs and I could tell she was shouting at me.

The television was blaring on about mysterious cases of littering in the area around our house, and my mom had enough interviews with the media about this that would last her a thousand lifetimes.

I was used to it. My family was a bit richer than our neighbors, comparing their beautiful, graceful villas to our even more beautiful, graceful palace that towered a hundred feet into the air and covered a total area of around a million square miles.

It also had a zoo of exotic and endangered animals, a forest, a temperature room (a room within which you could control the weather) and more.

Now however, it didn’t look half as good. Because of me.

My mother was an MBA, quite a successful one, and earned approximately $1,921,680,110 per year. She was the CEO of GoogleBoogler, a search engine. Google tried suing them, but failed since my mother said the company didn’t use the exact name. Which resulted in a raise for my mother. GoogleBoogler is famous all over the world, and so is my mom. She loses her temper more easily than I could breathe (I don’t want to know what torture her colleagues go through everyday), and cannot tolerate rock music. Only opera for her. Which is why I designed a sound changer that if I play rock music, it would sound like opera to her. Her irises are blue and her hair is blond. She is fair skinned. Her name was Evelyn White.

My father was a jeweler. He impressed my extravagantly rich mother with a beautiful platinum necklace, with gold entwined through the whole thing. Silver overlapped the gold at certain points, and exotic gems were found throughout the whole necklace. It was so beautiful, my mother asked me to duplicate my alarm system with my duplicating machine and place it on the case in which the necklace was stored. And yes, I designed the duplicator too. He is calmer and quick witted. He cannot tolerate messiness. He loves rock music. His irises are green and hair is brown. He is fair skinned.  His name is Raymond White.

My sister is weird. When I’m angry, she’s mean. When I’m in trouble, she jeers at me. When I’m happy, she’s irritating.  The wrong attitude at the wrong time. And she often messed with my stuff. But the thing I hate most about my sister is that she’s a nerd. Without the glasses and bad fashion taste of course, but she got straight A⁺s in every subject. Some of my teachers accidentally let loose, “Are you actually the smartest girl’s brother?” and instantly repent it when I give them a dirty look. Her name is Jennifer White. She has blue irises and blond hair. She loves rock music and plays it at full volume with a High-Clarity Music and Stereo player that I invented, but for some reason, Mom never bothers her. She gets an allowance of $500 per month, because of her scores.

I-I’m the black sheep. I love rock music, but like opera too. I am quick witted and have a sense of humor. I don’t lose my temper easily, but can’t stand it if someone insults me. I am a fabulous inventor, with inventions nobody believes I made. My parents rarely talk to me, and when they do, it’s mostly to scold or yell at me. In school, I’m known for my humorous answers which anger the teacher, and he either whacks me with a ruler or whips me (They don’t know how rich our family is). I am a master at gymnastics. I have green irises and brown hair. I get an allowance of $100 per month. My name is Benjamin White. 

The Kidnap (still continued)

The third chapter:

Now back to the story.

                …..As I was saying, we fell in as neatly as Neat Sue keeps her books. We fell into superior quality leather sofas with recliners, cup holders, and sophisticated buttons that I couldn’t decipher. Some were written in a completely foreign language while others had weird signs on them. I looked around, noting in my brain that this ship, wherever it was from, was something that appeared as if it had popped out of Star Trek when someone was watching it. There was a highly polished silver stereo player that had huge speakers and had a certain formation of substances in it that provided utmost clarity. These substances were also found in the player I made. The buttons seemed to glow with an LED backlight, providing great visibility even when it was dark.

Besides that, there was a black 3D plasma television screen a few feet in front of me, with a slot to push in DVDs. There were miniature speakers to provide at least some means to hear what was going on. I examined the bright blue buttons on the arm of the sofa. Most likely they were to adjust the sofa’s position and angle. I pressed a button that seemed to be in the shape of a circle. Slowly at first, the sofa began to rotate, until it began to spin so fast that I feared it would launch up into the air like a helicopter. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I thought a saw a human falling into the ship.

Maybe it is someone who has come to save me, I thought. With a thump he or she fell into the sofa behind me and I found myself staring into the face of Jen.

   I raised one eyebrow.

                “Uh, Jen, what are you doing here?’

                “What are you doing here?” she retorted angrily.

                “Don’t know.”

                She turned away.

                With a loud THUMP, the Blue Alien dropped into the seat next to me. Too engrossed in the awesomeness of the ship, I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t there before.

                I cautiously pressed a button. It blinked five times, then a shelf with freshly baked popcorn shot out. The alien grabbed it, devoured the popcorn, threw the bag out the window, and maliciously grinned at me.

The Kidnap Animals

Here are details of a few animals found in the kataki:

Anurobi- Looks like normal white tailed deer, only it has four eyes that can look at different directions at once, two tails, six legs, and stripes. They eat the few shrubs that grow in the waste lands, and sometimes garbage, and are herbivores. Shy towards strangers, usually friendly and not violent. Their antlers do not fall off and grow continuously at the same rate throughout their life. The size and magnificence of the antlers determine the best male. During mating season, males not only fight with antlers for a mate, but even kick and bite. Males only fight if their antler size matches. Losing male has to run away from group of anurobii. Often not seen by strangers if they make a lot of noise. Four eyes have separate attachment to a relatively small brain. Four stomachs, like a cow, are present. Can survive without food for around one and a half month. Have a slightly thinner version of blubber to help survive the severe frosts at winter in the kataki. In summer they are a reddish brown; in winter they are a pure white in order to escape the eyes of hungry Perdones. When these animals attack, however, the injuries are fatal can cause a permanent cripple.

Perdones- Monkey like animals that have three eyes (in triangular formation), acute sense of hearing, elongated venomous fangs that poke out of its mouth when the mouth is closed, as well as extremely sharp claws that can rip through even the tough hide of anurobii. Usually very aggressive, especially if you cross their territory. They are carnivores, commonly eating anurobii or buna(see next)Their venom can kill a man in a few minutes, and no treatment has been made for this venom. They are curious of surroundings and of strangers, but will attack if someone makes a sudden movement towards it. They live on the outskirts if the wastelands, in the trees, but males banished from their pack wander in the wastelands. There are no fights for mates, but race competitions to determine who is the most agile, and therefore best, of the lot. Organ system extremely complex. There is a venom gland directly above the upper canines and incisors. A bite from the lower jaw would not poison, but would badly infect the wound. Slightly larger brain as compared to the humans. Three stomachs are present, providing that there is barely any food in the kataki so as much nutrition as possible should be extracted from it. Banished males usually scavenge through garbage and can digest some inedible items such as plastics, weak metals.

Buna- Greatly resembles a rabbit on the exterior. It’s main difference are that its ears are about half an inch shorter than an average rabbit. Golden eyes and very curious. Will not attack strangers till provoked. Has an extremely efficient hearing system and is shy of most animals.  They live in the forests on the western side of the wasteland. Omnivorous; sometimes preys on Kacchua  or Ponglwe, but usually on tropical grass. There is perfect gender ratio of 1:1, but if two males prefer the same female, they showcase a collection of flowers, rocks, and other eccentric objects. Whoever’s collection the female prefers, she will mate with the owner of it. The grass is very nutritious. No members are banished, and they have an alert system similar to that of the prairie dogs.

What an Interest!

This is a story about the Archery Workshop that took place at our school:

            After the Commonwealth Games recently held in Delhi, my mind, as with many others, found a new interest in archery. The idea of archery had long since exhilarated me, since I learned about Arjun’s precision with bow and arrow and until the recent use of them in AVATAR. I felt that I too should be given the privilege to learn this magnificent art.

            As if the teachers could read my mind, they set up an Archery workshop in out VIVA at Pune. They must have known that feelings for Archery would lift up because of the impressive performance on the Indians in the games. At the same time, I knew this opportunity was too great to miss. I leapt at it, ignoring what at that time seemed like a slightly high cost (Rs. 600) just to grant myself another path to journey on and master. It may have just been another outlandish idea to prove to my brother that I knew something he didn’t; but, all the same, I was very hopeful.

            Just one week later, I felt myself wallowing in self-pity. Most people around me were generating negative impulses; telling me that Archery will be a rip-off and it would be just a scheme to gain more money. They told me I would be using small, plastic bows to shoot equally small arrows into cheap targets. With so many negative beliefs around me, my mind finally decided that they must be right. I immediately plunged into the corrupting pool of self-pity and I was sure that I would have the worst time of my life on the 17, 18, and 19 of January. My only consolation was that a few of my friends would have to suffer with me, and, therefore, I would have some company. For each of the 112 people who opted for Archery, I had immense pity.

A Window of Oppurtunity

How can a competition at school change a life? Well, this is what happened to me:

“Never miss an opportunity; it won’t come again.” I had this firmly kept in mind as I raced up the stairs to the SPA room on the second floor of our school. Archery had been running late; we had been so engrossed in the activity that I had been practicing over time. And that was bad since I had a competition right when it ended.

           Vibgyor Viva's Ad Mad World. Another competition in an enthusiastic extravaganza. But not just any competition. One that had acting, writing, and laughs mixed into one composite solution. I was really looking forward to it, since I love acting. If I hadn’t gone, I would “miss an opportunity” and that would change my life- but how I was still yet to find out.

            My arrival at the room was overflowed with a gloomy faced torrent of shock, anger, and betrayal. One of my team mates was in the Basketball team, and his match was running late, so he wouldn’t be able to come. If that’s not enough, my other team mate left for a reason that only God knows. I was forced to sit in a corner, waiting for some team to let me join the group. One major obstacle was that each group could only have three people; and since most of them already did, I was lost, feeling very much groupless.

            It was plainly my luck that one team was missing a person, and I filled in the gap. Although the other two people were girls from Vikhe Patil School, I was grateful to God that he had given me an opportunity to attempt to win the competition. The first round was identifying the slogan of certain companies. We were given a paper and a sheet and we were told to match the columns.

            As I sat with those two girls, I reminded myself that not participating would be something they would expect me to do. Then I would seem unimportant and the group would fall in ruins. I decided that, since I like performing the unexpected, I should leap right in. The round was rather easy and we flowed through. The next round, however, proved to be quite a tough one. The teachers played about half of an advertisement, and we had to guess the name of the company. That was quite a stumper, but we managed to get most of them correct. The third round was my favourite.

            I mentioned before that I love acting, and this was the part that actually involved it. A group had to make a jingle, or a song, to back up a product that they were representing. My team, Group Five, was given the topic “Vanishing Cream.” I thought of the idea for the skit while one girl created the poster and the other created the Jingle.

Just In Time

This is a story about the Chilean Miners......

                I shouldn’t have been there.

                I should have been playing with my daughter. Watching movies. Be running in the sun, frolicking in the rain, camping in the moon. Meeting friends, joking at restaurants, laughing with my parents. Running, jumping, swimming. Laughing, loving, lying.

                I should have been doing all of these.

                But I couldn’t.

                Because of the cave-in of the mine.

                We had been good-naturedly ambling towards the entrance, joking with a light heart and a skip in our step when a sudden roar blasted through the air. Confused, we immediately surveyed the situation. It was not clear that we were in trouble until one of the miners went scouting ahead to analyze our condition and location. Although he returned unhurt, he proved to be the transporter of ill news.

                Our shock and despair upon hearing of the cave-in three miles from our position was tremendous. Many hardy miners fell to their knees crying for their parents and children, and then praying that they should remain alive and unhurt. Around these men, I stood unaffected. It seemed like I was stoic; however, the turmoil inside me was raging far more fiercely than that of many men around me.

                My mind had raced through any possibilities of escape. The mine entrance had been blocked by enormous boulders that would require a hundred men to shift, but our strength lay at only 33. I willed myself to think as I had never done before, scanning each idea and selecting the most practical of them all. The hot and humid air sent my sweat pouring on my skin, and my mind grew fuzzy and sleepy. When I was nearly struck down by fatigue, my mind had a brainwave.

                A ventilator shaft provided us oxygen inside the mine. If it could be broken into, we could escape…

Obese Fatty vs. Bighead

Here is a rather humorous story that I made.......

 

Golden rays of sunshine broke through the ranks of clouds overhead in Paris. The day seemed rather jubilant: birds flew around chirping loudly, cats meowed on the streets, people drank cappuccinos at a nearby café: Le Marche Du Lait.

                Wait. Did I forget something?  I have the feeling that I did. Oh yeah.

                The Eiffel Tower was about to fall on the café.

                Literally.

                There it seemed to hang, three meters from the roof, as time froze.

                Play.

                Men, Women, and rats ran, screaming (and squeaking) in terror. The birds’ chirps changes to warning cries. The cats’ meows turned to howls of pain.

                And amongst this terror stood a huge, enormous, bulbous……

                Boulder.

                Hang on a second. That doesn’t make sense.  How in the name of the headless horseman can a boulder be fat?

                Now I remember.

                And amongst this terror stood a huge, enormous,  bulbous……

                Human. (who was so fat he looked like a boulder)

                His mouth gaped to commence one of his primeval roars that struck fear into the citizens hearts. But he never roared. He shoved doughnuts into his mouth.

                In case you’re wondering, this freakish person-type of thing was called the Obese Fatty. Incredible in size, his main attribute was the fact that he could crush water if he wanted to. Now this guy had heard a rumor from his minions that there was another monster that challenged him to a fight in the Sahara Desert.

                He snorted. Puny little weaklings. Couldn’t even stand a black cat. Even God couldn’t save them. His incredibly large foot hit the ground as he stepped forward.  Flab shook from head to toe, generating winds that scored 14 on the Beaufort scale.

                The death of his enemy had just begun.

A Remarkable Adventure

A modern poet, called Jack Prelutsky, wrote this laugh-out-loud poem about.....well, you find out!
I was at my bedroom table
With a notebook open wide,
when a giant anaconda started winding up my side,
I was filled with apprehension
and retreated down the stairs,
to be greeted at the bottom
by a dozen grizzly bears.

We tumultuously tussled
till I managed to get free,
then I saw, with trepidation,
there were tigers after me,
I could feel them growing close,
I was quivering with fear,
then I blundered into quicksand
and began to disappear.

I was rescued by an eagle
that descended from the skies
to embrace me with its talons,
to my terror and surprise,
but that raptor lost its purchase
when a blizzard made me sneeze,
and it dropped me in a thicket
where I battered both my knees.

I was suddenly surrounded
by a troop of savage trolls,
who maliciously informed me
they would toast me over coals,
I was lucky to elude them
when they briefly looked away-
that’s the reason why my homework
isn’t here with me today.

Till next time!

Jabberwocky

This poem, by Lewis Carrol, is one of the most influential across the world. It created such nonsense words like "chortle", "galumphing", and even "Jabberwocky." Don't make sense of it: It is a NONSENSE poem!

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

It was first featured in through the Looking Glass, and what Alice Found There. This was a sequel to Alice in Wonderland.
P.S. It appears in the movie of Alice in Wonderland, when the Hatter is carrying her, on his hat, though the forest.

Too Patriotic?

The people in my school hang on to the belief that if they do not accept the dark truths about India, they are patriotic.
At the beginning of the year, when the campaigning for the Student council was going on, we were all sitting in the Assembly Hall. a boy in ninth grade called Hussain Kachwalla was starting his speech. He was opting for the Health and Hygiene post.
"Good Morning, dear friends and teachers. I am Hussain Kachwalla, and I am campaigning for the Health and Hygiene post.
As we all know, the health and hygiene of a person is vital in life. It is like the tiny feather balancing you from life and death. we are all painfully aware of the lack of proper health and hygiene in India-----"
His sentence was obstructed by a primeval uproar. Every student in the hall was yelling at him, telling him that he was hateful. The poor boy stood there, not knowing what to do. A mere revealing of the horrifying truth caused such a riot- how could he continue his speech?
An eighth grader, Aditya Das(who doesn't care about India), took this as an opportunity to win some votes. He started booing and sticking his thumb down at Hussain, until he was controlled.
Is just telling the truth a cause of such anger? This is not Patriotic; this is simply ignorance. You can talk proudly of the magnificent culture of India: but you cannot deny the lack of proper health and hygiene as well as the corruption that prevails in it.

When the results were announced, everyone in my class(except for me) was relieved that Hussain hadn't 

 won.