NOTE: Harry Potter is a universe of JK Rowling and JK Rowling only.
Dear Voldemort,
I am sorry to hear of your nasty, horrible death at the hands of that meddlesome double agent, Harry Potter. I really believed he was a D.eath Eater to the core! However, I am convinced that the duel was rigged by corrupt Ministry officials. The Elder Wand was obviously tampered with by that irritating, Muggle loving man, Arthur Weasely. I see you did not listen to my suggestion that I sent two years ago (albeit under the alias Srikar); that is, the one of replacing Potty's-sorry, Potter's-wand with one of those that change into rubber chickens when you wave them.
I hope you are enjoying your stay at Limbo, although it is rather featureless (it must be, being an irritating shade of white). No doubt you overheard my conversation with Potter. I had hoped his wish to meet his parents would overcome him, and also managed to confuse him with some riddles to infuriate him further. However, his idiocy proved too great and he succumbed to his recklessness. They even made a movie about it. Luckily no ne recognized me when I watched it.
Which brings the topic back to me. Having Severus use the duplication and invisibility charms combined with a green light was incredible. I was able to stand, invisible, over there, while my lifeless duplicate fell. I do hope nobody heard Severus say "Abada Kedavra" instead of "Avada Kedavra". My "death" gave me an insight into Harry's feelings for me. Just as we had planned, he was devastated by my murder.
I am now comfortably settled in a posh apartment at Pune. It is extremely warm over here!It never snows, blizzards, sleets, or even hails. Young men around here particularly take delight in pulling my beard. A couple of them are living the life off toads (No, really) so I don't think they'll bother me anymore.
Another few were willing to join us as Death Eaters, and we are currently practicing in my home. Instead of using Morsmordre (which is far too easy to recognize) we are using Corspordre, which displays a yellow corn floating in mid-air with a panda eating it while manure falls from above. We successfully caused some women to empty their stomach's contents on the ground.
Apart from that, I am continuing my terror strikes across the world. Osama is safe with me; I created a duplicate of him which the US killed and rejoiced about. We're planning another attack in Mumbai-whoops! Its already done! I guess time really does fly by when you're having un.
I await your resurrection eagerly, and I hope that the rumors about your last horcrux in Libya is true. Oh wait- you already said that you were possessing Gaddafi. Farewell, then!
Yours Affectionately,
Your Faithful Servant,
Albus Dumbledore
P.S. How are James and Lily? I hope they are fine. After they helped Malfoy get the Death Eaters inside Hogwarts, I would hate or the Potters to die. You should have seen their face when they found out Harry defeated you! Utterly shocked and disappointed, they were. Give my regards to Sirius and Lupin!
Dear Voldemort,
I am sorry to hear of your nasty, horrible death at the hands of that meddlesome double agent, Harry Potter. I really believed he was a D.eath Eater to the core! However, I am convinced that the duel was rigged by corrupt Ministry officials. The Elder Wand was obviously tampered with by that irritating, Muggle loving man, Arthur Weasely. I see you did not listen to my suggestion that I sent two years ago (albeit under the alias Srikar); that is, the one of replacing Potty's-sorry, Potter's-wand with one of those that change into rubber chickens when you wave them.
I hope you are enjoying your stay at Limbo, although it is rather featureless (it must be, being an irritating shade of white). No doubt you overheard my conversation with Potter. I had hoped his wish to meet his parents would overcome him, and also managed to confuse him with some riddles to infuriate him further. However, his idiocy proved too great and he succumbed to his recklessness. They even made a movie about it. Luckily no ne recognized me when I watched it.
Which brings the topic back to me. Having Severus use the duplication and invisibility charms combined with a green light was incredible. I was able to stand, invisible, over there, while my lifeless duplicate fell. I do hope nobody heard Severus say "Abada Kedavra" instead of "Avada Kedavra". My "death" gave me an insight into Harry's feelings for me. Just as we had planned, he was devastated by my murder.
I am now comfortably settled in a posh apartment at Pune. It is extremely warm over here!It never snows, blizzards, sleets, or even hails. Young men around here particularly take delight in pulling my beard. A couple of them are living the life off toads (No, really) so I don't think they'll bother me anymore.
Another few were willing to join us as Death Eaters, and we are currently practicing in my home. Instead of using Morsmordre (which is far too easy to recognize) we are using Corspordre, which displays a yellow corn floating in mid-air with a panda eating it while manure falls from above. We successfully caused some women to empty their stomach's contents on the ground.
Apart from that, I am continuing my terror strikes across the world. Osama is safe with me; I created a duplicate of him which the US killed and rejoiced about. We're planning another attack in Mumbai-whoops! Its already done! I guess time really does fly by when you're having un.
I await your resurrection eagerly, and I hope that the rumors about your last horcrux in Libya is true. Oh wait- you already said that you were possessing Gaddafi. Farewell, then!
Yours Affectionately,
Your Faithful Servant,
Albus Dumbledore
P.S. How are James and Lily? I hope they are fine. After they helped Malfoy get the Death Eaters inside Hogwarts, I would hate or the Potters to die. You should have seen their face when they found out Harry defeated you! Utterly shocked and disappointed, they were. Give my regards to Sirius and Lupin!
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| One of our fake duels... |
